March 29th, 2010
Little Sister
Thomas: Caroline, can I tell you something?
Caroline: Yesh Wubby. What?
Thomas: I really like dinosaurs.
Caroline: Mooooommy!! Wubby luffs dinosaurs!! (In her best sing song tattle tale voice.)
Thomas: Caroline, can I tell you something?
Caroline: Yesh Wubby. What?
Thomas: I really like dinosaurs.
Caroline: Mooooommy!! Wubby luffs dinosaurs!! (In her best sing song tattle tale voice.)
It is something about the pollen in the air or the birds chirping incessantly. Makes me crazy, insane… I get all sorts of wild ideas.
Things like:
This morning I crept into Thomas’ room at about 8:15. I knew he was tired, but time was ticking and preschool waits for no one. He was still sound asleep which is unusual. Typically, he is the one creeping into my room, carrying a blankie (or two) and a dinosaur (or twelve) and shyly asking, “Can I snuggle?” (By the way, the answer is always yes, unless it is before 7:30 in the morning…)
Anyway, today he was the sleepy head and I was wide awake from my race with garbage truck. (I won! Yay me!!)
I perched on the edge of his bed and gently rubbed his back. “Sweetie, it’s time to wake up now… How are you feeling?” He instinctively screwed up his face and shoved one arm into the air over his head while arching his back and stretching his legs, and took my breath away. For that split second, he was my newborn son. When I was pregnant with him, we joked that I was his personal bo-flex machine. He would lodge his feet against my lower ribs and stretch. It was painful and funny at the same time, distorting my belly from round to angular and lopsided…
One of the first days home with him, I remember standing over him watching him go from sleeping to awake. He stretched. And I gasped. That pushing that I had felt from within so many times was perfectly recognizable. He was waking up… It is one of those little snapshot memories that I will carry with me always. Watching him do what I had felt him do so many times before… And now today, I was once again transported back in time. He was for an instant my tiny little 5 pound baby. Stretching against my ribs and stirring to face the day.

I’m tired.
I don’t want to get Caroline ready for her nap. I’d rather she get me ready for MY nap.
I hate the idea of cooking dinner tonight. I know. Hate is a strong word.
I’m tired of the half packed boxes of Christmas decorations in the corner of the living room. (But I guess not tired enough of them to actually DO anything about it.)
I was done with work before this week even started. It was not done with me. It is not done with me. Am wondering just when it will be done with me.
I desperately need to clean the bathrooms in this house. Any motivational tips?
I clearly need a cheese tray to go with this whine. Suggestions?
Today was a classic cold and grey California winter day. It left Ben and I in need of soup for lunch… About 2 seconds after that decision was made, Issa texted asking if I knew how to make French onion soup. (Twin!) I promised Issa I’d find a recipe and test it out for her tonight, so while Ben headed out to purchase a quick fix (tomato soup) for our lunch, I cleared some dinosaurs off the couch and sat down with a pile of cookbooks. I found two recipes right off the bat. One was called ‘classic French onion soup’ and the second was called ‘onion and bread soup’. I opted for the simpler ‘onion and bread soup’ with a few modifications.
I think there are 2 kinds of old friends in life… The first is the friend that seamlessly wanders in and out of touch. They are like a favored pair of jeans (or flip flops) and they come with an ease and comfort that only time provides. You can go weeks or months or sometimes even years without contact and then the phone rings (or your inbox dings) and there they are. You meet up or trade emails, and it is as if no time has passed. You are still walking parallel paths and can finish thoughts and sentences…
The second type lacks the permanent comfort or instant ease. You smile and are genuinely happy to hear from them. But the bond has weakened with time. And while you’ll always treasure memories, you just don’t fit together like you used to. Perhaps you have moved too far in different directions.
As one of my goals for this year, I’m reading East of Eden. Again. I had always figured it would be like old friend type one. Always approachable and a lasting connection–easy to slip back into. But? I’m surprised to find that isn’t true. I like it, I’m enjoying parts of it… But… Perhaps I know it too well by now? Or maybe we have just gone different directions and I’m not the high schooler that fell in love with it. Either way, I’m finding myself rushing to get to favorite sections and then stalling out once I’ve read this or that particular chapter. In fact, I’m currently 2/3rds of the way through and have no desire to pick it back up. (That may or may not be related to the return of certain TV shows. Ahem.)
Because we once were so close, I’ll stick it out and read to the end. But honestly? I’m already looking ahead to a book for the month of February.
One recent morning Thomas and I were playing the ‘favorite’ game.
Thomas: Who is my favorite mommy?
Me: Umm… Me?
Thomas: Yep! Who’s my favorite daddy?
Me: Daddy!
Thomas: Annnnd… Who’s my favorite bug-bug?
Me: Hmm. I’m gonna guess… Caroline?
Thomas: Yes!! And what’s my favorite thing that lived before humans?
Me: Oh, I know this one!! Dinosaurs!
Thomas: Right! And what’s my favorite thing that lived BEFORE dinosaurs?
Me: Ooh. Hmm. Dimetrodon?
Thomas: Right again! And what’s my favorite thing to eat? I’ll give you a clue… It starts with an ‘F’.
Me: French fries? (Without even thinking about it.)
Thomas: No!! It’s fruit. (With an implied ‘duh mommy’.)
Right. What was I thinking?
With the start of a new year I would rather plan for the time ahead, instead of lingering on the past. With that in mind, here is a list of 12 things I’d like to do more in the months ahead. My plan is that I will do each of these at least once a month in the coming year. And? Because I’m still jumpy from too much holiday chocolate, I plan to blog about them. If my math is correct, that should get me about 144 posts in 2010. (Sounds like an awfully big number for somebody who hasn’t posted in over a month!) These are goals, not resolutions. And I really think that doing more of the following will make 2010 a happier, more relaxed year…
It’s 1 am. I’m awake… A combination of a few french fries and a small milkshake for dinner (Sooo hungry now!), the fact that I fell asleep at 8:30 when the kids went to bed, and the loud slumbering noises next to me…
What to do?
Ah-ha! The iPhone. Bejeweled. Just for a little bit, you know, until I get sleepy.
It’s 2 am. Where did that hour go?? I should probably quit and try to sleep. Just one more game…? Sure, why not! Ok. Last game. 35,000??? That’s a horrible score. Must play just one more… Ok. 69,000… Improving. But still not good. Hmmm. I should just keep playing as long as my scores keep improving. Yeah. That’s a good plan. 152,000. That’s a decent score. Doh! 90,000 on the next game. Guess I should stop now…? But, I don’t want to end on a bad note.
Just ONE more game.
It’s 2:30. I’m never going back to sleep, am I?