This morning on our way to school, Caroline and I were talking about families. “I’m the sister and Wubby is the brother. He’s MY brother. I’m the little sister.” Around in circles… “Who is my daddy?”, I asked her. She shrugged and said she didn’t know. When I told her it was Grandpa, she smiled and said, “Yeah, that’s right.”

I fell silent, concentrating on the cars in front of us. After a moment, her quiet voice piped up again from the back seat… “Who is Daddy’s daddy?” It’s not a taboo subject for us. It is something that Thomas is comfortable with–something we talk about from time to time. But it occurs to me that while we’ve talked about it WITH Thomas, we mostly just talk about it around Caroline. I don’t know that she’s had direct conversations about it. “Daddy’s daddy was Grandfather, but he died.”, I tell her. She’s quiet again for a bit and then asks, “Why…?” I explain that he was in a really bad accident a long time ago. She asks a few questions, absorbing this information.

As we approach her school, she starts talking again. “Mommy? I think we should get Daddy and Wubby. And our kitties too. We can put Ginny in her’s cage and Jim Bob in him’s cage. And then we can all go together and find Daddy’s daddy. And take him to the doctor.”


I am at once impressed by her logic and slayed by her simplification. The mind of a three year old…

I pull into the school parking lot and gently explain that we can’t go find Grandfather. That doctors can’t help him. He’s dead, and has been for a long long time and there is simply nothing we can do about it. “Sweetie, he’s just gone.”

“Mommy? I didn’t want Daddy’s daddy to die…”, she says wistfully as she embraces me and climbs out of the car.

Me either, sweetheart. Me either.

6 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. I adore her. Completely.

    March 17th, 2011

  2. Oh my.

    I haven’t had this talk yet with Ava. You handled it well.


    March 17th, 2011

  3. Christine

    I have had the comment box open for 5 minutes, not knowing what to say. I didn’t want him to die either!

    March 17th, 2011

  4. What an amazing heart in such a beautiful little girl.

    March 17th, 2011

  5. Grandmother

    Oh, what a little sweetheart!

    March 20th, 2011

  6. J

    Bittersweet indeed. Such a sensitive girl.

    March 21st, 2011

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