When Caroline was born, she came out and they placed her on my chest to clean her up. She was tiny and amazing. And I was completely in love. Once she was properly wiped down, diapered and swaddled, she breastfed for the first time. FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF. No, I’m not exaggerating. I WISH I was exaggerating. I remember one of the nurses commenting, “Wow, that girl is going to need a bink.” And she wasn’t kidding… Breastfeeding Caroline was a challenge. A painful challenge. But that’s not what this post is about.
Caroline likes to have something in her mouth. She found binkies early. And was smitten. Thomas hardly used them. He would take one if you gave it to him, but didn’t really care much one way or the other. Caroline LOVED them. She would seek them out, crave them, hunt them down. Eventually she was sleeping with at least 4 in her crib every night. She even named her favorite. Spot. “Mommy? Where go Spot??”, she would ask. Even when Spot had a hole bitten through it, she still wanted to sleep clutching it tightly in her hand. She’s a feisty girl, and we quickly learned nothing would calm her quite like a bink in her mouth.
Our pediatrician suggests that kids are weaned from bottles and pacifiers by 15 months old.
Um. Yeah. Not so much.
I have been DREADING the ditching of the binks for well over a year. Dreading, and putting it off. We did our best to limit her bink use to just naps and bedtime. I didn’t like the idea of her running around the house with them… But, we had so many that she was pretty good at finding them and popping one in. And I’m more than willing to admit that I used them freely when we were out of the house and needed to keep her (relatively) quiet. They make a pretty good bribe.
However, with her third birthday rapidly approaching, and the fact that she had ear infections NON-STOP for the first 3 months of this year, it just seemed like the time was upon us. Spot and the gang had to go. One Thursday night, I clenched my teeth and decided that D-day was upon us. I did what any sensible mother would do. I hid the binks, including Spot. And then played dumb. We went upstairs to get ready for bed and as she usually did, she went racing into her room to grab a bink out of her crib. (Yes, she’s still in a crib. Not a toddler bed. What’s it to you?) “Oh no Mommy! Where’s Spot?!?” She looked under the bed, had me pull it away from the wall, checked all the frequent hiding places… I played dumb and sympathetic. “Gee, I don’t know… Are they missing? I wonder where they are…?” We continued with our bedtime routine, jammies, book, snuggles. And then? It was time to get in bed. I put her in and she dug around (under the 6 blankets and 12 animals she requires) and still came up empty handed. I sympathetically said, “I’m sorry sweetie, it’s time for sleep. And I don’t know where the binkies are. We’ll have to look for them tomorrow.” Hug, kiss, arrange the blankets, lights out.
I tried to strengthen myself for the fit that was sure to come. As I walked away, I told myself that no matter what, we couldn’t be pushover parents and give her the bink. No matter how loudly she cried.
It was silent. I figured she must be pulling herself together for the fit to end all fits.
It never came.
Really.
NEVER.**
Over the next few days, she would ask about her binks a few times… Less and less each day. Before a week was up, she stopped asking. Instead she would just say wistfully, “Binkies all gone…”
Sometimes I think that I don’t know her at all. Despite that, I am soooooooo thankful to be her mommy!
**Well, okay. The fit never came at home. I never saw it. Yep. The only fit she ever threw over the binks was a 15 minute cry during naptime at daycare.
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
Kudos to the sitter for taking one for the team!!! haha That is such a cute picture. I hope it helps with the ear infections!!
April 12th, 2010
I still adore that photo. one to keep for sure.
if my tiny boy still has one in college, it’s okay right?
April 12th, 2010
Such a cute picture! You are a brave mommy for sure!
Jonathan will kill me for this, but at 8 he still sleeps with his blankie and I catch him sucking his thumb
Little Lizzie sucks her thumb too. I have no intention to stop either one of them. If they need braces, they need braces. I will say that they don’t walk around with their thumbs in their mouths and they have no speech issues because of it. I never see Jonathan doing it unless I catch him when I check on him at night. Lizzie only does it when she is tired or hurt.
April 13th, 2010
Just when we think we have them all figured out, they go and do something that surprises us.
Ava only took a pacifier for about 3 months. Then she was done. However, she’s a thumb sucker. Thanfully she only does it at night, or when she’s really super tired.
P.S.
I am in love with that picture.
April 13th, 2010
I’m glad that she was into binkies, not the thumb. Because, how would you take away her thumb?
Maya loved her binkie, too. We took it away when she was younger…10 or 11 months, I think. She threw fits. Of course, we did the whole ‘Ferber’ thing at the same time. We were cruel parents, clearly.
I suspect that if we had waited to take away the binkie, it would have been easier to give them up.
April 13th, 2010
I’m a fan of the cold turkey/playing dumb method. That’s how we got rid of DJ’s (except we weren’t playing dumb…we really didn’t know where they all went). My issue with Bop is going to be his ‘lankey, which he uses for the same purpose. He sticks it in his mouth when he’s going to sleep or when he’s really upset. It calms him instantly. Sometimes we call him Linus. He’s approaching his fourth birthday. That thing is going to have to go soon, isn’t it?
April 13th, 2010
That picture is so adorable.
I love how you anticipated the worst and yet she totally surprised you. They are amazing aren’t they?
I was a thumb sucker until 8 or so. Blanky and thumb were my buddies. One day they took me to see the orthodontist and then to see his wife the child psychologist or something. She told me I got one package of those sugar water filled wax things (I LOVED THOSE), and when they were all gone then no more thumb. I chewed up the pack within an hour of being home… and that was that.
We’ve already seen ultrasound shots of this little one sucking her thumb…. we likely have braces in our future.
April 13th, 2010
Great verbal and visual image of Caroline and the binkies. Thanks for giving us these little windows into the kids’ little personalities and quirks.
Liz was never that excited about thumb sucking. In hindsight I have wondered if a bink would have helped with her early colic. Sarah was a thumb sucker–and I am sure within the womb too. She just knew from her first day how to suck her thumb without any sense of accidentally finding it. I thought it was another way that God made it clear to me that the girls were two different personalities from day one. Two special girls, but not the same!
April 14th, 2010
Grandma, my daughter was a binky sucker, but still had horrid colic. The binkie could bring it from 4 hours of screaming down to 3, but that’s about it. Sigh.
April 21st, 2010
so glad it worked out like this for you. My Rory is so attached to her binky or as she calls it “baby”. We’ve already started just let her have it at bedtime, but she will put one in her mouth and carry one in each hand just to be sure the supply is endless.
April 30th, 2010
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